I'm not writing all this as a neighborhood scold just to make you feel rotten. I'm writing as a father to you, my children. I love you and want you to grow up well, not spoiled. There are a lot of people around who can't wait to tell you what you've done wrong, but there aren't many fathers willing to take the time and effort to help you grow up.
I Corinthians 4:14-16 from The Message

I came across these verses this morning and the students at MAYC immediately came to mind.  It’s true, there are plenty of people willing to tell our teens what they’re doing wrong.  “You can’t skateboard here.” “Your music is too loud.” “Your hair is too long, too short or the wrong color.” “You have a bad attitude.” “You smell (Come on- let’s be real… I’ve raised teenagers, and had their friends over to my house for years- I know this to be true!).” “You’re too loud, too boisterous, too passive, too aggressive, too energetic, too lazy, too precocious, too young to know anything.”

While these things may be true from time to time, and our students do need to hear them, the mere speaking (or shouting) of the words will not be effective without relationship to back it up.  There aren’t many people willing to take the time and effort to actually help these kids grow up.  I’m not talking about absentee parents—although that’s a heartbreak that touches the lives of many students at MAYC—I’m talking about our society, and closer to home, our community. 

Imagine the overwhelming transformation we’d experience if each time an adult felt the need to correct a student’s behavior there was careful instruction and modeling attached to the complaint.  Why is it so easy to tell these kids what they CAN’T do, yet difficult to impossible to tell them what they CAN do or what they’re already doing well?  If it truly does take a village to raise a child, then our children need positive intervention, and not a chorus of “No!”

Please don’t misunderstand—I am not suggesting we stop telling our students “no” when it’s needed. Our teens are crying out for healthy boundaries and loving correction!  I firmly believe that enforcing fair and consistent discipline is an important part of showing love to our children.  If you don’t believe me, ask my own kiddos sometime (but don’t believe everything they tell you ;-) ).

Instead I’m urging everyone (we’re all part of the village) to correct our teenagers patiently and constructively, approaching them with maturity and sensitivity (remember- you’re the grown up!).  Choose to go beyond the “rotten kids” mentality and ask yourself, “How can I help these kids grow up?” 

Remember, these are our future parents, citizens, business owners, civil servants, city officials, etc.  Quite honestly, the choices you make as you interact with teens now may not only impact their future, but may impact the future of our families, our schools, our city, and our world!

Don’t be part of the crowd that merely blames and criticizes, but take the time and effort to help our teens grow up!  The future depends on it!

Would you like to proactively engage teens in positive instruction?  If so, your concern and convictions fit perfectly with the mission of MAYC and the role our volunteer mentors play.  Come spend your afternoons getting to know our delightful students.  Share your talents, experience and wisdom with them.  Click on the “Get Involved” tab on the left for more information.

Next, I hope you had an opportunity to see our article in the winter edition of Great People Great Stories magazine.  This feature chronicles the story of MAYC’s origins and illustrates how we carry out our mission each day. If you’ve not seen it yet, you can click on this link: http://gpgsmagazine.com/latest_issue.html ; then hit “next page” until you reach page 6 which looks like the image to the left.

One more thing- if you haven’t yet, please “like” our page on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/miltonareayouthcenter  and/or join the Milton Area Youth Center Facebook group.  The Milton Area Youth Center group is updated every few days about regular happenings at MAYC, while the Milton Area Youth Center page is updated less frequently and shares the "big picture" outlook.

There are so many great things happening at MAYC and in the lives of the students who go there- not to mention the rewarding experiences recounted by our mentors!  Wouldn't you like to get involved?

_ At the beginning of the school year one ninth-grader stood out as a loud  bully with less-than-positive language.  I can’t tell you the number of times he was asked by mentors and me to turn down the volume of his voice, to scale back his behavior and to stop cussing at the youth center!  As we’ve had the opportunity to form a relationship with this young man his behavior has changed slowly over time.  Now we enjoy his time at MAYC; his true personality, wit and even charm are apparent.

 Last week he came to talk to me about another teen whose behavior has been less than stellar.  My reply was, “You’re right that this person can be difficult, but you know what?  You were difficult at the beginning of the school year and look at you now!  You’re an inspiration to me; you give me hope that, in time, this person will also change his ways.”

He thought for a minute and said, “You know what changed my behavior?   It was when I told you I wanted to be a teen mentor next year and you said I’d have to prove to you this year that I could be a good role model.  That made me want to change.”  What a great affirmation that we are making a difference in these teens’ lives!  No wonder I love my job!

_ My husband Craig volunteers at MAYC on his day off.  Last Wednesday he gathered all the kids together and told them whoever sat quietly and listened the best would win $20.  I’ve never seen such an attentive audience!  Yes, that money had influence, but I also observed kids really soaking in and processing what Craig was telling them as he used a $20 bill to share an inspirational message about self-worth.  The students were really engaged, answering Craig’s questions and asking their own questions of Craig.  At the end it was really difficult to choose who had listened the best because everyone had been so well-behaved!  I asked them if they’d want more little “talks” like that and the answer was a resounding yes!  These kids are hungry for affirmation and hope, and we are here to provide it- another reason I love my job!

_ One more story- one of the girls at the youth center inspired me on Monday.  She shared with me that over the weekend she had been talking to a friend who lived far away and that friend had said he was thinking about committing suicide.  This concerned our student so much that she turned to the internet to search for anti-suicide information.  She found an amazing website called To Write Love on Her Arm.  Instead of telling about that here, I would encourage you to check out their very inspirational story on their website: twloha.com.  Our student was so moved that she used her iPad to create a presentation about the philosophy and vision of the organization. 

On Monday she couldn’t wait to show me what she had done.  Her presentation brought tears to my eyes, not only because of the story, but also because this girl had found something she cared so strongly about that she took the initiative to grab onto their message and put it in a medium where others could learn about it as well.  Right now she is in the process of making it into a short movie that we’ll be sharing on all of our video-sharing venues (more to come on that soon!).  How could I experience all this and not love my job!?

_ Each day at MAYC my heart is as full as my plate.  The reasons to love what I’m doing outnumber the items on my “to-do” list.  My faith grows each time I recognize that the things happening here are greater than me, our volunteers and our board all put together.  We are witnessing the mission of MAYC being carried out each day, and our vision just keeps on growing!  What’s not to love!?!

Six volunteers survived the initial onslaught of nervous and excited junior high girls.  Before 3:15 seventeen girls had signed up to get their hair done!  Everyone pitched in valiantly; Barbara adeptly wielded the flat iron while peer mentor Seniors Sarah and Lexi drew upon show choir and past prom experience to create hundreds of gorgeous spiral curls.  Callie utilized  her irons expertly, and our one professional stylist, Beth, made girls feel gorgeous as she transformed their do's. 

_Meanwhile Senior mentor Emily painted nails, and I had a great time pretending to be a makeup artist when I wasn't being called away to deal with day to day details.  Overall, we were able to pamper more than 20 girls, helping each one feel special and look beautiful.  We had two boys ask us to flat-iron their hair as well, proving that girls are not the only ones who care about taking time to look good.

_I was so happy with the encouragement I heard each girl receiving as our mentors sincerely praised their unique qualities:  "Your complexion is so beautiful," "look at this gorgeous hair!" "you don't need to wear a lot of makeup because your eyes are so naturally stunning," etc.  What a joy to see these girls walk away with a little more self confidence and poise! 

A special shout out to mentors Liz and David who bravely held down the rest of the fort, making sandwiches, challenging others to video games and keeping an eye on computer usage and sign-in.

Friday was an inspiring, tangible example of MAYC's mission of showing God's love in practical ways through positive role models providing fun and productive activities in a safe social environment.  Thank you mentors!  Your hard work is effectively making a lasting difference in the lives of our teens!